Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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