I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
