Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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