she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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