What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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