You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
