Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm really into asian looking animals
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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