Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You're like the curious george of whores
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
