What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
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He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
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Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I love you.
Bad choice
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