hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
