I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I currently don't understand fingers.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
