i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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