My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
