"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
