im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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