ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
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I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
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Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom