Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
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Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
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You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.