Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me