I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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