If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
