And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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