There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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