god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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