somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
