I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
