It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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