Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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