I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
