Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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