Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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