I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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