did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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