Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
