he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize