id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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