He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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