she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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