Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
