Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
