Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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