Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
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i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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