we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
