So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
