just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
