Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
