My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize