Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
