No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
