just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This is the high leading the old right now
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
