I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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