New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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