Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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