The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
