i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize