Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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