where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
