I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
