i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
